This article has been submitted by Stu Wilkinson.

Congratulations are in order for Andris Biedrins of the Golden State Warriors. Mr. Biedrins recently signed a contract worth $62 million (that’s more than People paid for Tom and Katie’s baby pictures!) over the next six seasons. Mr. Biedrins has also never, ever, made a jump shot. I’m serious. His form makes Chuck Hayes look like J.J. Redick. Having a shooting form worse than Shaq and still getting paid more than $10 million a year? That definitely makes Andris deserving of his very own Gary Roberts Wednesday.

Biedrins might just be worth that silly amount of money for the Warriors. He’s a great fit for them – a big that protects the painted area and can finish around the hoop. The best part of his game is his ability to play within himself and not steal shots from GSW’s absolutely ridiculous core of guards. Do you realize that the Warriors have Stack Jack, Corey Maggette, and Monta Ellis? With Al Harrington in the frontcourt? I don’t think Andris will be getting any less selective in his shot choices next year.

That lineup, of course, does mean that Andris will be the anchor for GSW’s interior defense and rebounding, something that he’s probably used to by now. Last year he had 9.8 rebounds a game, helping Golden State somehow end up in the NBA’s top fifteen for defensive rebounds per game (forget their up tempo system for one second). He also managed to lead Golden State to being the fifth best squad in offensive rebounds per game, probably because getting on the offensive glass was the only way he’d get the ball in his hands on the offensive end.

Then again, maybe Andris goes after the offensive boards hard because he knows that’s the only way he can create an open look. I honestly can’t remember seeing Andris make a post move, but that really doesn’t matter. As is he’s a great Warriors big man. He dunks, blocks shots (1.2 a game, or what’s known as a “Triple Curry”), and rebounds. He doesn’t turn the ball over too much and he isn’t a black hole in the post. He’s even improving his free throw form these days, moving from Dale Davis territory in his first couple years to a respectable 62% this past season.

Biedrins is also only 22, or four years younger than Michael Jordan’s favorite number one draft pick of all time. Biedrins was drafted by the Warriors, 11th overall in 2004, out of Latvia. This begs the question: Which athlete is more beloved in Latvia, Artus Irbe or Andris Biedrins? His Latvian-ness also probably means that he doesn’t even speak the language too well, meaning that even if he’s angry about not getting enough looks in the low post he can’t communicate his beef to team captain Stack Jack effectively. Unless, of course, he’s got a Primo Brezc-esque grasp of the English language. In that case I want Jalen Rose to interview him immediately.

Oh yeah, and Emeka Okafor just got signed for $72 million over six years, or just less than $2 million per season more than Andris. There’s a lesson in here for all you student-athletes thinking about staying in school and earning your valuable UConn diploma in three years. Take the time you would waste in the classroom and do Air Alert. Go pro early and do three things: Dunk, rebound, and block shots. You will make more money than the President or anyone with one of those silly “degrees”. Also, hire me to be your accountant/entourage member.

Inside the Numbers
62.6% FG% last season, best in the league
1 of the most unlikely blogs in the history of the internet
17.2 rebounds per 48 minutes last season, third in the league
26 rebounds in one game, against the Knicks of all teams
1 dunk over Keith Van Horn

This article has been submitted by Stu Wilkinson.