Before I jump right into the first ever On Deck Circle Mailbag, I thought I’d introduce the article by paraphrasing the great Silky Johnson, he of Player Hater’s Ball fame, not that handsome guy that lives in Brantford. So, to begin…
“First of all, I wanna thank God for giving everybody so much time to waste, and me so much work to put off to help them waste it. I hate you, I hate you, and I don’t even know you and I hate your guts, Professor. I hope all of the bad things in life happen to teachers and nobody else but teachers. And as I sit here in Douglas Library, sipping a Tim Horton’s coffee that the girl in the J-Duc didn’t stir, I just wanna say school can kiss my ass in two weeks. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna put down my Pharmacology 100 notes, put some water in Alex Jackson’s momma’s dish, and answer some mailbag questions. Good luck studying, tricks!”
How did I determine who made the Mailbag? Well, despite an overwhelming amount of questions (thanks everyone, seriously appreciate it), almost every question made the Mailbag. Only those who sent in multiple questions didn’t have them all answered. So…this thing is a little long, and I worked on it over a few days at the library, taking study breaks here and there while learning about marijuana, steroids, and other wonderful drugs. If you are self-centered (or, dedicated to school work/getting laid/anything else useful), just hit Ctrl+F, type in your name, and you’ll find your question answered, because there is otherwise no rhyme nor reason to the order. With few exceptions, all of the questions were pulled out of a Ziploc bag or Dodgers hat. Let’s get on with it. Note: I seriously recommend reading this with a large coffee or in installments, because it’s pretty long. It’s also pretty awesome, though, so definitely read it.
More after the jump!