Unfinished Blog Ideas

Posted: 29th April 2008 by alex-jackson in Alex Jackson, Other Topics
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This article has been submitted by Alex Jackson.

There’s a lot more to blogging than just mad bling, off-the-hook parties, 18-inch rims and doing lines off of strippers. No, blogging is a hard-knock-life; despite what Blake might have told you, blogging is not glamorous. Honestly, it’s hard. Not everyone is cut out to do it.

First, you need to have a means of getting your message out there. Because blogging is short for Web-Logging, you need the internet. Though an estimated 71% of North Americans and 43% of Europeans have access to the web, on the global scale internet penetration is only 20%. Not everyone can do it.

Second of all, and this is probably most important, you have to “ideas” and “thoughts.” Sure, you could just poach ideas off of someone else, but let’s be honest, that is not cool. Just ask Blake about Mutumbo in China. Sometimes ideas just happen. An event happens that you are particularly interested in; you have poignant views on an ongoing situation; you want to elaborate on a debate you had with a roommate; or something on German TV inspired you.

Sometimes you think this snippet of inspiration is brilliant, only to discover 4 or 5 paragraphs in that you really have nothing. What do you do? Do you select all and erase the bad boy? Or do you save it and put it in the vault for a rainy day, in the hope that everything will just magically come together? Or, as a third option, do you put your head down, power through, post it and hope for the best?

I’m usually in the second group. I’ll shelve it, and hope things will just click. Today though, I’m going to combine 2 & 3; I’m just going to move on with a couple of unfinished pieces. Let the train-wreck begin!

Unfinished Blog Post Ideas
WNBA Sexiness

Lauren Jackson is a 6’5” Aussie playing for the Seattle Storm. She is a two-time WNBA MVP, a five-time WNBA First Team player and was named to the WNBA’s All-Decade Team.

Sue Bird is a four-time WNBA First Team player for the Seattle Storm. She is one of only six women to win an Olympic Gold Medal, and NCAA Championship and a WNBA Championship.

Becky Hammon, a native of South Dakota, began her WNBA career with the New York Liberty before being traded last season to the San Antonio Silver Stars. She will suit up for the Russian National team during the Beijing Olympics.
Honestly, there are probably three or four other WNBA players who deserve to be objectified…

If the NBA Playoffs were played by their team names…
Maybe it’s my love of absurdity. Maybe it’s the peyote I had on my recent vision question. Regardless, I have some strange thoughts going through my head these days. What would hurt more, getting kicked by a pro soccer player or getting kicked by a pro field goal kicker? Who would kill me first, Mike Tyson or Tito Ortiz? Who would win a basketball game, a Sun or a Spur?

That one doesn’t sound insane?

What if I wasn’t talking about professional basketball players who play for either Phoenix or San Antonio? Let’s say I was talking about the basketball strengths and weaknesses of a boot accessory and the star at the centre of the solar system.

Exactly. Batshit crazy.

So here’s the premise, I’m going to use the current NBA Playoff matchups, but look at them as if the team names were actually playing. I’m sure it’ll be a colossal failure, but here goes nothing!

At this point, if you choose to continue reading, I’m going to ask for a suspension of disbelief and ask you to not ask too many questions. Why use regular season standings, where real players played, as the basis? It was easy. What if this exercise was done for the regular season, would the standings change? Yes, the Grizzlies would be much better. Why else are bears consistently at the top of Colbert’s Threat-down?

Suns v Spurs
What are they?
The Sun is the star at the center of the Solar System. It’s a pretty big deal; the Earth and the other planets orbit around it. The Sun’s energy supports most life on Earth and plays a large role in determining climate and weather. A Spur is a metal accessory worn on the heel of a riding boot. It is designed to direct the movements of the horse.

Sun- It’s a big ball of energy, so you can expect an up-tempo style of play.
Spur – Tough as nails and can get down to the nitty gritty.

Sun – In NBA Jam, being “On Fire” was a good thing. If, because of the Sun’s heat, the ball spontaneously combusts, it is not a good thing. How can it harness its energy for good?
Spur – Pointy and sharp objects do not go well with inflated rubber. See the case of Car Tire v. Nail.

Draw. There is a lot of potential (energy) here, but what is done with it remains to be seen. It’s likely everything will just blow up.

Hornets v Mavericks
What are they?
A Hornet is the largest eusocial wasp of the genus Vespo. They are known for their attraction to sugary foods/drinks and their ability to sting. A Maverick is a person with independence of thought or action, essentially a non-conformist.

Hornet- Their ability to sting is a strong advantage, when things get messy down in the post, opponents will think twice about throwin’ bows. They also quick and have the ability to fly.
Maverick – They have nothing to lose, so they can play with reckless abandon. They can also hold a basketball in their hands.

Hornet – Despite being big for their family, their size will not translate well to the basketball court. How many Hornets will it take to control the ball?
Maverick – As stated earlier, they have nothing to lose, will this result in undisciplined play?

Maverick. The ability to hold the ball pushes them to the front of the pack.

Lakers v. Nuggets
What are they?
A Laker is a lake freighter, a cargo ship that travels between ports on the Great Lakes. A Nugget refers to a gold nugget.

Laker – Size. Most Lakers are well over 500 feet in length. Also endurance, as Lakers are known for making long, overnight journeys.
Nugget – To quote Banya from Seinfeld, “It’s gold, Jerry! Gold!”

Laker- How do their skills translate from the water to the hardcourt? Will it be another Edmund Fitzgerald situation?
Nugget – Might be a little too dense for the game of basketball.

Laker. All the time spent in the water would suggest they have been involved in a number of pool basketball games. You can’t beat experience.


Why Arena Football is better than the NFL…

I got nothing…


And so ends the first (and last?) edition of rejectedunfinished blog post ideas.

This article has been submitted by Alex Jackson.

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