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Running Diary of the Blue Jays’ Season Opener

Hmm, to live blog or do a running diary? Tough call, but I’ve decided the game will be far more enjoyable if I can just type instead of frequently updating the site on the wildly unreliable Casa de Lorne wireless network. So, it’s a running diary, just like last year. If you want a live blog, you should have checked out Drunk Jays Fans’ live (and drunk) blog. In fact, you may be better off going there anyways, since I can’t promise this is any good or funny, and I’m ridiculously sober as far as Monday afternoons go. Hey, it’s now a live blog. Keep refreshing, bitches.

Erik is reporting that it will be a night game tomorrow. That is a good thing because it means I can get work done in the day AND because it means I can get drunk while I do it. It’s a bad thing because if we win our semi-final intramural basketball game tonight, the finals would go tomorrow night, meaning I must again live blog without a beer.

To review the day: Accardo is now The Heart Break Kid…and that’s it.

Sam is reporting that Yahoo is reporting that the game has been pfficially postponed. I’m assuming this will take place on the off day tomorrow, so I will see you all back here at 1:00pm tomorrow.

Alex and Stu have taken their shirts off. The day is looking up.

Arizona/Cincinatti is also delayed, making it 3 of 4 games. Can we agree that baseball should probably wait until after March Madness ends to start? Another week should promise better weather, and it works better given the ridiculous time that is school right now.

Alex Jackson has requested Kyle and I have a show-down in a 6-sided steel cage, ala TNA. You can book that right now, and he’s already scheduled for a Podcast in the next few weeks so that will be the perfect hype…2 minutes of talking and 18 minutes of audio-only fighting, followed by me screaming “That’s REAL TALK to YOU, bitch!”

Pat Tabbler thinks we’re going to play, but after the commercial break, Sportsnet is giving us Royals/Tigers, which is a great call since Degrassi is no longer on.

In other news, Kyle Norton has been fired from the site. Eat a sack of baby dicks Kyle. (Kyle has since been re-hired)

Can we please get the comments rolling? I know you’re all sitting around waiting for the game, so get chatting. Lots to debtate—where would the Jays finish in other divisions? Who is our best looking player? Best looking ODC writer? What’s better, Stairs’ music, Rios’ hair, or Accardo’s new nickname (see below)?

For Serrano’s Sake, it’s raining in Chicago, too. Nobody on my fantasy team is ever going to play.

1:58 again (apparently time has stopped)
Jayson Stark and Ken Rosenthal both like the Braves to win it all this year. In related news, the Pittsburgh Pirates are the only team in their way…

Someone on the DJF live blog made the best comment ever, referring to the North-South Southwest Ontario divide that occurs at Kitchener-Waterloo (my home area) as the Mason-Dixon Line. That’s great. Count it.

We have a new backup. Cubs v. Brewers. I’m just as excited for that game as I am for the Jays playing three innings in the rain and then calling it a day.

Carlos Ruiz is going to be the steal of the fantasy draft as a 24th round pick, book that. Nobody on my fantasy team has played yet, making me officially the last team in our league to have a player play. Let’s a playa play!

The fantasy implications of the rain-out just sunk in. That sucks. I am now wondering, what effect does a Rain Out have on gambling? Is it a push? Is my parlay still alive? Do I have to wait for the make-up game?

Luckily, I have no class tomorrow and I’m fully ready to do this again tomorrow. I’ll be drunk though.

To AJ…I mentioned it was the one where Manny gets drunk and is about to take her top off! Also, some chick has a boy-toy in England and will be staying there! Heart-break the likes of which only Jeremy Accardo could inflict!

“This is our season, 08 Jays!” is the new “This is our country!” apparently.

Luckily, Blake is back, with a few developments/announcements:
-T-Smith is going to become the first ever 2-time Podcast guest this week
-I have officially decided to do a Mailbag at some point. It’ll be wicked-awesome dawg.
-Where do you think the Jays would finish in other divisions?? Debate!

After Accardo’s strong performance in the rain delay video and his history with the ladies we have decided to nickname him The Heart Break Kid.

There is no way of knowing when exactly when this game will take place, if at all. 

Alex here giving Blake a quick break. The backup channel has changed to the Price is Right and Drew Carey claims that a $150 doughnut maker is his favorite thing in the world.  Looking at Mr. Carey it seems that he definitely got his money’s worth with the purchase. 

Manny is considering breast implants, got drunk at a party, and was about to take off her shirt on camera for a Chris Jericho look-alike when they hit us with a bullshit ‘To Be Continued.’ They hooked me for the next episode, that’s for sure.

Vernon Wells plays Wii. I don’t care if you hit 30 HR and have young kids, that is just not acceptable.

They just did a great feature on Rios. We learned that he wears his Prada Aviators always, Accardo is jeaous of his style, Vernon doesn’t like Rios wearing shirts that are two sizes too small, and Rios flies model helicopters. Additionally, he is a dead ringer for Santino Marella, who got clotheslined by Snoop Dogg last night.

P-Cook has shared that he always sees Accardo wheeling women in the bullpen during games. Good for him.

The Double Double guy just delivered my pizza (and wings, yeahhh) and refused to break an extra bill, instead suggesting I give him change and thereby foregoing his tip. You don’t see that every day. That’s why Double Double is number one.

Degrassi is awesome. I think I’m going to spawn a new blog that live blogs Degrassi episodes.

Why doesn’t Sportsnet have a sexy beat reporter? That chubby guy is the best they can do? Anyways, he did a little diddy on the new Yankee Stadium, but the sound and video were out of sync.

I’d like to point out that going to Yankee Stadium last year was a great call on my part. Nice to be part of a little history.

Alex has chosen Degrassi: The Next Generation as our back-up channel during the rain delay. All I’ll say is…fuck ya!

Jamie Campbell: “The best thing about opening day is that you’re guaranteed a great pitching match-up!”
Blake Murphy: “Uhhh, Livan Hernandez is starting today.”

Alex has pointed out that a win today would catapault us to first in the AL East.

We open with a decent video package on Yankee Stadium that they rape with a freakin’ awful piano rendition of Take Me Out to the Ballgame. The Sportsnet intro music for the Jays this year also sucks. Hopefully they stick with the old one, it’s so recognizable and gets me hot and wet.

The game is currently being delayed but Pat Tabbler thinks we’ll be playing ball within the half hour.

Almost game time. I really wanted to watch a pre-game, but goddam Sportsnet as Hockey Central at Noon. What the hell is that shit? Speaking of bad calls by Sportsnet, I’ve decided Jamie Campbell needs a Swirsky-like catch phrase ala Salami and Cheese. It’ll be tough. The best I could come up with is “Game over, let’s get fucked up,” but that’s already in use for our Slo-Pitch team.

On another note, I am absolutely amped for the Home Opener on Friday. 12 of us going together, sitting third-base line. Should be a great time, followed by the Final Four and Pierre’s birthday on Saturday night.

Officially at 29 Clergy St. now, watching Family Feud because P-Cook is a bit of an old lady. Since Big Sexy’s Boombox died, I thought I’d give you five good songs to download, with a generally slow feel:
Lil’ Wayne f. Static Major - Lollipop
Chris Brown f. Kanye West - Down
Rich Boi f. John Legend, Lil’ Wayne, and NAS - Ghetto Rich Remix
JDiggz - With You
Omarion f. Fabolous and Usher - Ice Box Remix

I guess that was as good a time as any to make my prediction. B.J. reminded me, and I’m taking the Jays, obviously. Since it’s the Doc, let’s make it 4-3 Jays, but Halladay won’t get the W.

Sports.com has the line at Yankees -154 v. Jays +144. Count that as part of my 3-team guarantee, Jays/Dodgers/Mets…$5 wins a hefty $22.34—that’s almost a 2-4!

I just took a look at last year’s version of this running diary. Two things came to mind. One, there is a lot of pressure for me to repeat my performance of correctly predicting the score. Two, it was fucking gorgeous out last year at this time. Fuck Kingston weather man, on the forreal.

11 AM
Sitting in class and starting to get amped now. Sam was very disappointed in me last night for not being excited yet, but it was a weird weekend and I wasn’t feeling baseball. He was also disappointed in me benching both Hank Blalock and Chris Duncan today because I’m afraid of my left-handed power hitters facing tough lefties. He’ll be happy to know Blalock is now in the lineup, but there’s no way Duncan hits Jeffrey Franchise today. I’m amped now though, Sam, so you can smile at that as you sip your lunchtime glass of wine.

For everyone else, yes, I’m excited. I’m prepared. I have a jersey on, of course, and have planned my schedule around this imminent rain-out. But hey, if Wrestlemania didn’t get rained out on us (it was a really good show, for the record), then maybe the opener won’t be, either.

Halladay takes the mound against Chingy Mingy Wang in two hours for the very last season opener at Yankee Stadium evvvvverrrr. By the way, this may turn out to be a pseudo-live blog, with me randomly updating the site, though not enough to make it overly valuable, I’m sure.

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17 Responses to “Running Diary of the Blue Jays’ Season Opener”

  1. Erik Says:

    Rain’s already coming down in New York, so let’s hope that works out for us all. As if waiting 6 months isn’t long enough, we might have to wait one more day.

  2. Pennycook Says:

    Just to clarify, I am not actually an elderly woman, I just have the flexibility of a senior citizen.

  3. snydes Says:

    Odalis Perez getting an opening day start? wow do the Nationals have a bad pitching staff! Blake u should look into the worst opening day pitchers in recent memory.

  4. Blake Murphy Says:

    Haha, just look at today’s boxscores man, it’s brutal. But yes, that would make a good article…

  5. TSmith Says:

    Since when is Vernon’s nickname “the Franchise”? I swear they said it 5 times in that 5 minute segment.

    Also, Scott Rolen is someone I would love to drink with. He looks like the real-life version of Tim McGraw’s character from FNL. Couldn’t love that trade more.

    The (E)X-Factor though…not really feeling having a 15 year-old at shortstop, especially since McDonald gives you 90% of the same stuff already for less cash.

  6. AJ Says:

    Whoa, which D:TNG epsisode was it? These are things people want to know…

  7. AJ Says:

    My bad Blake…for some reason I thought Manny Ramirez was drunk, topless and considering implants…I thought it was strange, but I chocked it up to “Manny being Manny”…damn not having “real TV”

  8. TSmith Says:

    The Jays would be 2nd to the Tigers in the Central (edging out the Indians oh-so-closely) and would clearly dominate the West, winning the division by at least 8 games.

    Rios’ hair is a bigger joke than the Anti-Virus’ Tournament bracket.

    And our best looking player? The Big Hurt in all his burliness.

  9. The Anti-Virus Says:

    I don’t think that I deserve a firing for not reading a Live Blog of a game that isn’t being played. I’m ok with the baby dicks though.

  10. AJ Says:

    Come on, TNA style showdown between Blake and Kyle! 6 sides of steel! Sweet chine music vs. “real fighting”…Tank Abbott didn’t do so well in WCW…

  11. Pennycook Says:

    Does anyone else think it would be a good idea for Yahoo Sports to include a link to the weather report for the home team’s city?

  12. Erik Says:

    Boooooooooooooooooooooo. Makeup tomorrow night. Bullshit.

  13. Erik Says:

    official. 7:05 tomorrow night.

  14. Blake Murphy Says:

    Breaking news from my twisted mind - Alex Gordon is the illegitimate son of Tom Gordon.

  15. Erik Says:

    ERIC HINSKE HOME RUN. Blake “Nostradamus” Murphy strikes again!

  16. Blake Murphy Says:

    watchu know bout that muthafuckas yeeeeea

  17. AJ Says:

    So I left for a couple of hours and what happens? Nothing…I really hope you haven’t, somehow, figured out how to control the weather…if you plan on controlling the weather and making all 162 games the “Season Opener,” and intend to “Live Blog” each one, it’ll make for a very long season…the season is long enough as is, don’t ruin this….

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