The NFL Fantasy Funbox Week 7

Welcome to week 7 of the funbox, you should know the deal by now so we’ll get straight to goods, but first here’s the updated standings (after a recount discovered some fraud in Raptor’s calculations) to help you decide who to believe in.

Raptor - 10 points (+10 bonus) = 20 points
Beer Baron
- 8 points (+6 bonus) = 14 points
Gizmo - 11 points (+8 bonus) =
19 points

Quarterback of the week

Gizmo - Peyton Manning. Manning torched the league’s top defense last week for almost 300 yards and 3 TD’s and this week he gets the paltry Packers pass prevention so he should be good for at least those kinds of numbers this week. Indy and the Colts seem to be back on track so make sure you’re fantasy team does the same by starting Manning this week.
Honorable mention: Matt Schaub
Raptor - Matt Schaub.  Schaub finally realized that he should throw the ball to Andre Johnson last game.  Look what happened.  They both put up huge numbers and won their first game of the season.  Schaub would have to be dumber than a stump to not keep the train rolling this week against Detroit.  The Lions defense has had about as much success this season as Travis Henry has had using a condom. Expect Matt to make use of Johnson, Daniels, and Slaton this Sunday.
Honourable Mention - Jason Campbell
Beer Baron - Brett Favre. Oh Brett, you sly dawg, coercing Romo into not being a wimp and playing through his injury.  Can’t you see Romo blaming Favre for pushing him into playing and then fracturing his pinky?  Count on seeing these two duking it out in celebrity boxing if that situation does arise…Numero Quattro has an enviable match up this week against the Raiders, in a game that could turn into a shootout (or as much of one is possible with Jamarcus at QB) and a big game from Favre.  Note:  whichever Jets receiver isn’t covered by Asomougha is gonna have a big game.
Honorable mention:  Eli Manning

Running back of the week

Gizmo – Marion Barber. This week looks to be a perfect storm for the Barbarian as Dallas heads to St. Louis. For one, St. Louis gave up 129 yards to the aging Clinton Portis last week, Barber is quicker and stronger and should have no problem matching that performance. Throw in the fact that Felix Jones is sidelined and Romo, if he plays, won’t be at 100% forcing Dallas to rely heavily on the ground game and you should see a rogue wave named Marion coming into town.
Honorable Mention: Steve Slaton
Raptor - Clinton Portis. Portis will get the job done.  The man has been an absolute beast this year.  Portis simply does not disappoint.  Washington plays Cleveland this week and you can bet that Former Bronco Clinton will run over, around, and through their front seven all day long.  With a season low of 21 touches this year, Portis is more likely than a geologist to touch the rock 20 times this week.
Honourable Mention - Steve Slaton
Beer Baron - Chris Johnson.  CJ was originally just another blue-chip prospect, but like Ms.Jackson, he is fo reeealll.   He’s even getting touches inside the red zone, Lendale White’s forte.  Bet on that being more of a trend than mirage, and in an offence with a caretaker QB and facing the worst run D in the NFL, count on CJ to have his best game thus far in his promising career against the Chefs (insert Snickers commercial) this week.  
Honorable Mention:  Melwelde Moore


Wide Receiver of the week

Gizmo - Andre Johnson. From fantasy dud to fantasy stud, oh how things can change. Andre has over 300 yards in his last two games and this week he gets the dreadful Detroit defense that has looked like an urban sombrero, hideously useless. For those of you patient enough to hold onto Johnson through the thick and thin, here’s the match up you’ve been waiting for, and it should be magical.
Honorable Mention: Reggie Wayne
Raptor - Reggie Wayne. There is no wide receiver more consistent from week to week than Reggie Wayne.  You could set your watch to him.  Last week the Colts took it to the Ravens and their passing attack is firing on all cylinders.  Don’t be fooled by Harrison’s two touchdown grabs last week.  This is Wayne’s team and he’s bound to be good for at least 15 fantasy point this weekend.
Honourable Mention - Terrell Owens
Beer Baron - Plaxico Burress.  Week in, week out, Plax is probably one of the best bets to haul in a TD, having caught double-digit TDs the past two years.  While Eli’s chest injury is a minor concern, he likely won’t be under too much pressure from the impotent Niners D, leaving him plenty of time to find Plax on that fade route inside the redzone all day Sunday.
Honorable Mention:  Braylon Edwards


Tight End of the Week

Gizmo - Kellen Winslow. This has yet to be confirmed, but I have heard through the grapevine that the tight end’s hospitalization was not due to an illness but rather he was recovering from experimental surgery. Call me a conspiracy theorist, but I foresee Winslow putting his newfound super powers to good use this week. Combine that with the Browns revitalized offense and you’ve got a dynamic duo.
Honorable Mention: Jason Witten
Raptor - Owen Daniels. It’s time to show this former quarterback some love.  Houston is coming off a strong performance and Daniels is poised to make a run as fantasy’s number 2 TE this year.  He’s big, relatively fast, and has soft hands - He’s Jason Witten Lite.  The big man is coming into his own this year and he should go bonkers against Detroit this Sunday.
Honourable Mention - Kellen Winslow
Beer Baron - Owen Daniels.  If you’re William Clay Ford, the past few years have been devastating.  First, your company slowly loses market share, refuses to take into account industry trends, and now rumors of potential bankruptcy.  Then, you hand the keys to your franchise to Matt Millen, who believes that as long as your have stellar wideouts, it doesn’t matter who your QB is and if you even field a defence.  Houston faces Detroit this week, a squad whose offence has shown flashes of brilliance.  Daniels’ has been a key cog, and is 3rd among all tight ends in both yards receiving and receptions.  He should finally enter the TD column this wk.
Honorable mention:  Dustin Keller.


Sleeper of the Week

Gizmo - Vincent Jackson. Chambers is set to miss another game this week, meaning Rivers will once again have to look for other end zone options such as Mr. Jackson. Buffalo’s secondary isn’t inept, but Vinny and all 6’5 of him should be targeted early and often resulting in a second straight big day from the big man.
Raptor - Sammy Morris. Do you know who the primary back is in New England?  It’s not Kevin Faulk, or Laurence Maroney - It’s Sammy Morris.  Even when Maroney is healthy they give Old Man Morris the bulk of the carries.  The Patriots offence has not been very good without Tom Brady but they get to run against Denver this weekend.  Denver helped Larry Johnson blow up for 200 yards behind a poor O-Line.  Sammy Morris has a better line and should post good numbers this week.
Beer Baron - Jeff Garcia.  Better the devil you know that the one you don’t…that cliché applies directly to owners decision on whether to roll the dice on a risky QB or insert Jazzy Jeff as their QB2.   Jazzy Jeff is back as the starting QB of the Bucs (at least for this week), and while he lacks arm strength, his overall efficiency is remarkable. The guy rarely throws INTs, and will usually add 1-2 TDS a game, to go with around 175-225 yards passing a game.  He’s not a sexy choice, but the man gets the job done, and I wouldn’t hesistate to start him this week against the Seahawks, a team in a state of disarray and starting Seneca Wallace at QB this week. 

Dud of the week

Gizmo - Marques Colston. I just dealt Colston away in my primary fantasy league so this may be a bit of sellers remorse, but I do believe that it will take Colston and least a week (and maybe a better matchup) to find his groove and start connecting with fantasy stud Drew Brees. NFC South teams are a remarkable 12-1 at home this year and 4-0 in interdivisional games. Count on Carolina to bounce back from an embarrassing defeat last week in Tampa Bay and shut down Colston and the Saints this week.
Raptor - Ronnie Brown. Why am I picking the hottest fantasy player right now to drop a deuce this weekend against a Baltimore D that just got carved up like a holiday ham? I mean, seriously, Brown has averaged a ridiculous 24 pts/wk ever since they brought in the ‘Wildcat’ offence.  I still like Ronnie and Miami as a team…But I have faith in Ray Lewis and the Baltimore defence.  After getting beaten so badly last week, this proud unit cannot help but feel angry.  They’re a proud group and I’m banking on them rebounding and mauling anyone on the field, regardless of the formation they’re running.
Beer Baron - Roy Williams. ‘Boys against the Rams should have anyone who owns Cowboys drooling – except for newly acquired Roy Williams.  This isn’t exclusive to this week, but for the rest of the year, as I believe this a terrible deal for the Cowboys for the following reasons.  1) For a receiver to fully assimilate to an offence and develop chemistry with the new QB, it usually takes a year or so.  Look at Chris Chambers who’s finally hitting his stride in SD (most relevant to fantasy)  2) To give up all those draft picks is suicide; a 1st round pick is considered to be a strong bet to be a starter on your team for the next 5 yrs, a 3rd rounder a serviceable starter, and a 6th a decent backup.  3) JERRY JONES, YOU DONT NEED ANOTHER WR!  You have the best TE in Witten, and while Crayton and Austin aren’t studs, they can fill the void as secondary options in your offence. 4) Will TO and Roy get along? Sure, there’s going to Red Lobster together right now and seeing who can consume the most shrimp right now, but they can both be volatile and that’s a recipe for disaster.

Waiver pickup of the week
Gizmo - Dan Orlovsky. Kit Kat Kitna has been broken into pieces and is likely done for the season, the two Drews are waiting behind Orlovsky on the depth chart, but his impressive performance last week versus the Vikings should lengthen Orlovsky’s leash. His numbers weren’t spectacular, but this poor man’s Jeff Garcia can be picked up in 2 QB leagues as a reliable fantasy play that should net 10-12 points a game when needed to fill in.
Raptor - Brad Johnson. Brad Johnson has a sicker set of weapons than Max Payne.  TO, Roy Williams, Marion Barber, Jason Witten…Wow.  Their O-Line should be able to buy him enough time to get a floater off and then his receivers will take over.  You might be thinking ‘But the Rams just upset the Redskins, they’re ready to rock’.  No.  The Ram’s winning streak will be as short lived as the Cookie Monster’s diet.  You can expect them to go back to their losing ways this weekend.  Brad is 40 years old and he’ll use that veteran savvy to get the job done for your fantasy team this weekend.
Beer Baron - Donnie Avery.
  Avery was the first wideout taken in this year’s draft, at numero 33, and with Drew Bennett injured, Avery has been able to showcase his incredible speed, only rivalled by the Geezer’s speed in his prime.  Even with Bennett coming back, Avery has been so impressive he may hold onto the no.2 receiving spot.  For those of you in keeper or dynasty league, Avery may be worth stashing away; he may not pay extreme dividends this year but you can bet he’ll be a true asset for years to come.

Geezer special of the week
Jake Delhomme. Apparently Tommy John surgery isn’t so bad. With a few more touchdowns, he’d be having the same hot start he had last year before going down. He plays the Saints this week, who have given up good stats to lesser quarterbacks (O’Sullivan, Frerotte).

One Response to “The NFL Fantasy Funbox Week 7”

  1. Beer Baron Says:

    ha gizmo traded colston for lynch…is there anyone out there who doesnt take that deal?

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